In an event room filled with more than 2,000 business leaders from around the world, Mary Kennedy Thompson, the newly appointed CEO of BNI Global, stepped onto the stage with a message that cut through the noise of modern leadership discourse: every leader casts a shadow, and the world is watching.
BNI — a 39-year-old business referral organization with chapters in 76 countries — is far from a traditional corporate giant. Yet the culture it has cultivated has turned it into one of the most influential business networks in the world. Thompson believes its next frontier will not be measured in new chapters or expanding markets, but in something far more personal: the evolution of its leaders.
“Power is not power if you don’t know you have it,” she told the crowd. “And we have the power to change the way the world does business.”
The audience, a mix of entrepreneurs, small-business owners, and regional leaders, erupted in applause. But Thompson’s tone soon shifted from celebration to challenge.
“Leaders,” she said, “get the followers they deserve.”
A Philosophy Rooted in Behavior, Not Titles
Thompson, a former Marine Corps officer and franchise executive, has built her reputation on an idea that runs counter to much of the leadership advice circulating in business circles: leadership is not defined by what a person does, but by who they are.
“I kept listing everything I was doing,” she recalled of early career coaching. “And my coach said, ‘It’s not what you’re doing. It’s what you’re being.’”
Two words became her mantra:
Be curious. Be interested.
It is, she argues, the foundation of influence — the currency of leadership. Behavior, priorities, and relationships are the levers by which leaders create impact. The more visible the leader, the longer and more consequential the shadow.
In BNI, where weekly meetings, member engagement, and relationship-building are central to the organization’s value, that shadow can shape not only a chapter’s culture, but a member’s livelihood.
A Christmas Lesson in Accountability
Thompson’s most striking lesson on leadership arrived nearly four decades ago in a stark Marine Corps barracks on Christmas Eve.
As a young lieutenant assigned to duty during the holiday — a task she approached with the dutiful efficiency of a rising officer — she completed her rounds, checked her boxes, and retreated to the duty hut for what she now calls a “pity party.”
At dawn, her commanding officer, Colonel Poliakoff, arrived with a tray of home-cooked food. He reviewed her logbook, then asked one simple question:
“Lieutenant, who did you talk to?”
She proudly listed the sergeants and corporals required by the roster.
“No,” he pressed. “Who did you really talk to?”
The answer, she admitted, was no one.
The Colonel delivered what she calls “a heavy brick”: a blunt truth delivered with care.
There were Marines in the barracks who could not afford to go home, who had no families waiting, who were spending the holiday alone.
“And I hadn’t spoken to a single one,” she said, her voice catching even decades later.
The realization reshaped her understanding of leadership — from rule-following authority to relational responsibility. She spent the rest of the day walking the barracks, meeting young Marines she had overlooked. She learned their stories, their hometowns, even how to do a 360 on a skateboard.
That morning, she made a promise:
to become a student of leadership for the rest of her life.
At the Helm of a Global Network
BNI has grown rapidly in recent years, fuelled not only by its global footprint but by its culture, which has long emphasized values like Givers Gain®, accountability, and recognition. The organization’s founder, Dr. Ivan Misner, created a system that depends on peer leadership — members leading members, often without formal authority.
Thompson is now charged with leading the organization toward its next milestone: one million members worldwide.
She told attendees that the path forward will depend on a “leadership factory” — not a hierarchy, but a pipeline of leaders who can influence through example.
In her view, the traits that set the tone for a team or a chapter are clear:
- Words — “Being positive doesn’t mean pretending everything is perfect,” she said. “It means your words move people.”
- Actions — Integrity must be practiced, not proclaimed.
- Resilience — Especially when circumstances falter.
- Courage — To have difficult conversations, to hold others accountable, and to speak truth with compassion.
- Care — The defining trait, she suggests, that created the mentors she followed for decades.
“The leader sets the culture,” she said. “And the culture becomes the organization.”
The Quiet Echo of a Leader’s Shadow
Thompson warns that leaders often underestimate the influence they exert on the people around them — in their businesses, their communities, even their families.
To illustrate, she invoked the familiar image of a child imitating their parent during a football game: the parent shouts, the child shouts. The parent sighs, the child sighs.
“That,” she said, “is leadership. People don’t hear your values. They see them.”
In an era marked by rapid change, economic uncertainty, and a constant pull toward multitasking and distraction, Thompson encouraged leaders to focus their priorities, choose their direction, and build deep relationships — even if that begins with a single meaningful conversation.
A Call to Accelerate
Thompson closed her keynote with an invitation that felt equal parts motivational and urgent.
“When you think you’re going fast enough,” she warned, “we are about to accelerate.”
She believes BNI’s growth will hinge on leaders who embrace reflection, consistency, humility, and accountability — who ask not “How am I doing?” but “What do I need to do better to help you succeed?”
And she believes this approach will extend far beyond the boundaries of a business network.
“If every one of us commits to being a better leader,” she said, “we will inspire growth everywhere we go.”
As the crowd rose to its feet in applause, Thompson smiled with a hint of Marine discipline and entrepreneurial optimism.
“Are y’all in?” she asked.
The answer, shouted back with conviction, suggested that thousands of leaders — from more than 70 countries — were ready to follow her into the next chapter, not because of her title, but because of the shadow she casts.
